Glenn Beck: Al Gore oopsie

February 24, 2009 - 13:01 ET

VOICE: The Glenn Beck program presents more truth behind America's march to socialism.

GLENN: That's right, my friends. Today our march to socialism, it is so huge, it is so fat, why am I reading -- this is Stu writing something here for me that is making fun of me. I get it, Stu, I'm a little overweight.

STU: Yes, you are.

GLENN: So huge, so fat, so overwhelming, so full of yummy goodness that we had to actually put it into our science update, Part Deux of Al Gore and the march to socialism, science update in about an hour, but here's Part One. What, Stu?

STU: I was going to say Al Gore is the fusion of science and socialism. He is really the guy for both of these.

GLENN: My gosh, you are exactly right, he is. Okay, here you go. How many times have we all heard, "We're going to create five bajillion new green jobs... and we're going to find them, we're going to create them or we're not going to lose them... or we're going to prevent them from just evaporating into space... which is something you won't be able to measure whatsoever, but that's what we're going to do. Green jobs."

Al Gore has been spreading the news that green energy jobs are the future. Not only are they the future, they are already on the rise, and the proof is in the pudding. Oh, wait a minute, pudding. Science, so to speak, is settled on that one. Al Gore was so excited about the rise in green jobs that he is shouting it to the world. Quote: More people work in wind energy industry than the entire coal industry. Wow, wait a minute. We get about 50% of our energy from coal in America. There are more people in the wind-power energy sector than all of coal? First of all, that would show that coal is more efficient, by a lot. Seeing that we get, what, maybe, what, like a toaster in Nebraska may be working on it. Anyway, more people work in the wind energy industry than any other -- than in the entire coal industry. Compelling stuff, and wind energy -- you say something like that, wind energy must be skyrocketing. Or wind energy is so inefficient that it makes more people to make one turbine than to produce similar energy yield be a little of coal. But Al is the expert on this and not me. So I'm just going to keep the old fat mouth shut, or filled with cupcakes, like a good little socialist citizen would. It's such a compelling case that Al Gore is using the "Vastly greater numbers working in wind energy" stat as proof that even more monies from the stimulus needs to go towards green energy. Here's the claim made now by Al Gore: Globally 2.3 million people employed in renewable energy sector. There are already more jobs than there are directly in the oil and gas industry. In the oil and gas industries. In the U.S. there are now more jobs in the wind industry than in the entire coal industry.

Now, I just want to make sure you understand that because you know Al Gore. He would never mislead the nation into a socialist energy system, you know, unless he has the facts on his side. He's a robot. He's nothing but facts, bzzzz, bzzzz, bzzzz. Fact One: Al Gore's facts, not really clear on this one. In fact, Fact Two, Al Gore's facts, completely wrong. 85,000 wind energy jobs cited in the report are "Varied as turbine component manufacturing, construction, and installation of wind turbines, wind turbine operations and maintenance, legal and marketing services and more." So we got the marketers, the construction people, the attorneys as the wind energy. The 81,000 coal jobs counted by the Department of Energy are the miners, just the miners, you know, the guys with the light on their hat. Not the marketers or the -- there's no attorneys involved in this. By the way, the 8100 -- or I'm sorry, 81,000 coal jobs totally also admits truckers who haul the coal from the mine. Also, it's anybody working in a power plant and, of course, all the legal and marketing jobs. But listen, America, we don't have time for honesty. Move, move, move! Everything's collapsing! Time is running out! We've got to act now before the economy collapses and everybody dies!

VOICE: That was even more overwhelming evidence that we are destined to be a bunch of socialist pigs very, very soon on the Glenn Beck program